shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
