i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
