There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
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