Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
