Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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