When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
