Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
