she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just forgot I was standing up.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize