Are we in a gay sports bar?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
