Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
