well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize