i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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