My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
