doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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