i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
