Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
