I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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