i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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