plz talk dirty to me
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I pour the whiskey from now on
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
