fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
