I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
