brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
