don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
