i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
