I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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