Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
