spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Boobs are out for the taking
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
