I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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