I cockslap morals
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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