I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
