Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize