Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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