addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
