another moral hangover. fuck.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
