You smell like stripper and shame
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
