I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
