Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
