Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
