I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
dude. I can hear the air.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
