So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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