i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
