Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
