It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
