dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
