There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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