god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
