So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
