Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
