I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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