He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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