That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
