when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
