People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
