I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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