Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i would punch a child for taco bell
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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