We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
