I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize