you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
