I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
