I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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