I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
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