Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
