I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
