Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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