Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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