But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
How external is "for external use only"?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize