Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
