We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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