let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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