1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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