i barfeds in our rink
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
