well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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