it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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