Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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