he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
