Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
