wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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